Let it be known or Lie or Hide.....

Assalamualikum,

Time and again I am faced with this dilemma, should I answer it honestly, or should I lie or should I hide. But then I am not given a choice in this matter by Allah. Its not like I live in a vacuum where I can do something one day and erase it the next.

True our lives are like white-boards or blackboards(talk abt being ancient) we do move on to newer chapters, we do move on ahead yet in one form or the other, the earlier writing on the board leaves a mark. No matter how hard you erase, the light writing can still be read by a person looking at it hard enough.
So why even try to erase all that can be read, could it be possible that what you write on that board now is becoz of what you can see of what was written in the past.... is it possible that you are what you are becoz of what you did, the choices you made, and if you are a better person...does it make sense in saying that you would like to change all that you have done in the past.....

What abt when someone asks you abt the choices you made, the things you did, which are not the norm of the society you live in. Were they wrong? I think not, why do I think they were not wrong, coz I got closer to Allah, coz I learned humility, coz I learnt to value what all I have, coz I learnt that as long as I had my deen I did really have everything, I learnt to understand myself, I learnt to understand others, I came face to face with my flaws and I had to work myself out of them????

And how do girls do it, how does anyone do it for that matter. I am what I am, I did all that I did. I experienced, I battled, I was successful by the grace of Allah... then why lie to someone, why behave like that never existed. Plus how can I do that, I mean is there even a way that I could tell someone that I didn't work my way thru college, that I didn't live by myself, that I didn't love another human being......

Are we even right in expecting that from another? And why are men expecting that from women yet not delivering it themselves? Why are you shocked when I tell you I lived all alone? Why are you surprised when I tell you that I have a lot of responsibilities, why does being honest abt these matters lead you to be silent?

Go ahead be silent, I can't do much. Only time can prove what I am capable of doing when it comes time to build a life with another, only time can show you that sometimes the one that gets overlooked might just have been the good one.

But as for me, I will not advertise it yet for the sake of being honest to myself, for the sake of being respectful to you, for the sake of basing a lifelong relationship on honesty I will answer ur questions truthfully.